Diane Ravitch’s Educational Insensitivity Essay Paper

Diane Ravitch’s Educational Insensitivity Essay Paper

Instructions/Descriptions

Diane Ravitch’s Educational Insensitivity Essay Paper

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Evaluating Introductions

Purpose of the Activity:

To read in order to strengthen one’s writing. By carefully examining other writers’ introductions, you will gain an idea of other people’s creative and stylistic choices. The aim is for these examples to inspire your very own unique, creative and stylistic choices.

Important Note :

You will notice that these four different writers have chosen to use their own styles of writing. Please do not re-use their words, phrases or structures when you create your own introductions. Doing so equals to plagiarism.

Directions :

Please find below sample attention getters and introductions written by the following people:

1. Bryan Scheulin “Brother’s Keeper”
2. Jessica Statsky “Children Need to Play”
3. Mike Mihalov’s “Sweet as Sugar, Deadly as Poison”
4. Diane Ravitch’s “Educational Insensitivity”

For the Original Post, please read all four of the sample introductions. Select one introduction. In your Discussion Board, please identify the author of the introduction in the title. Mention either Bryan Scheulin or Jessica Statsky or Mike Mihalov or Diane Ravitch. Evaluate the introduction’s effectiveness; please note that some writers have chosen to write attention getters separate from the introductions while others have written the attention getter combined with the introduction. After you have made your selection, comment on the introduction’s strengths and suggest ways it can be made even better. Please refer to specific parts of the introduction. Explain exactly why the segment you are citing is strong and explain exactly where and why it could be strengthened. Please reread the requirements for the attention getter and introduction in order to refresh your memory. Avoid making vague comments such as “I like this introduction.” Please always assume that the writers of the models are in the classroom with us. Employ netiquette at all times.

Examples of the Evaluating Introductions

Original Post

I find that Bonnie Fellhoelter does a great job starting her attention getter with lyrics showcasing a mother asking her children questions. I actually can hear a mother asking her kids about whether they are hot or cold or if they have lunch with them. It makes me as a reader become part of the scene. Fellhoelter then highlights the tension of being a mom by stressing in her attention getter how a mom’s job is full of “chaos” and is “discombobulating.” The stress on the tension awakens the readers’ interest because it shows that a problematical situation exists.

Example 2:

Original Post (by Chandra):

Bonnie Fellhoelter provides a solid background when she talks about how the role of women changed. To make this introduction even stronger, it may help make her an even more credible writer had she included a source for her historical overview. This way, readers will know where she got her information. I am certain that no one will doubt that she supports women staying at home to raise their children just by reading her thesis statement. She presents solid reasons to support her argument. When she mentions how the children will learn better morals and values at home and thus improve society, she makes it clear how she will organize her essay.

What to avoid : I really like how Bonnie Fellhoelter wrote her attention getter and introduction. She did a really good job. Her background is excellent and her thesis statement and reasons are excellent and easy to follow.

Final Comment to Peer : Yes, I agree with you and I very much liked the way she wrote her introduction.

Sample Introductions:

Brother’s Keeper by Bryan Schuelin

A game of chess is constantly played by lawyers, judges, and juries in court houses around the world day in and day out. This strategic battle of an event could have a possible outcome of completely changing someone’s life. All it takes is one slip up and it could cost a person life in prison or a sentence to death. But it usually boils down to a single person who knows the truth behind the story and it becomes a struggle of man vs. himself to keep from breaking.

This is exactly what the Ward case came down to in the film Brother’s Keeper. The Ward family was made up of four elderly semi-illiterate brothers who made their living by farming in an isolated rural New York town. In 1990, Delbert Ward was accused of murdering his brother, William Ward, by suffocation. Delbert’s IQ of 68 was put at a great test as hundreds of questions were thrown at him from investigators that all planned on trying to squeeze the facts out of him. Delbert’s only defense was the words he said from the bottom of his heart, as well as the support of his neighbors. It became a struggle for Delbert Ward to keep to his word and come out innocent in the court of law.

The accusing side of this case argues that Delbert Ward murdered William Ward by suffocation. They believe that enough evidence has been brought up in order to prove that Delbert Ward is guilty for this charge. They feel as if Delbert Ward has admitted to murdering his brother in order to put an end to his suffering. Although these are valid arguments, a closer look at the situation shows that Delbert Ward should be found not guilty. Delbert Ward should not be held responsible for William Ward’s death because no signs of asphyxiation were present on William’s body, natural causes were a clear possibility of William’s death, there was no credible evidence linking Delbert to William’s death, and there was no motive for Delbert to murder William. In the event of William Ward’s death, Delbert Ward is innocent in any actions pertaining to his death.

http://www.redwoods.edu/instruct/jjohnston/english1a/readings/statsky.pdf

Children Need to Play, Not Compete by Jessica Statsky

Over the past three decades, organized sports for children have increased dramatically in the United States and though many adults regard Little League Baseball and Peewee Football as a basic part of childhood, the games are not always joyous ones. When overzealous parents and coaches impose adult standards on children’s sports, the result can be activities that are neither satisfying nor beneficial to children.

I am concerned about all organized sports activities for children between the ages of six and twelve. The damage I see results from noncontact as well as contact sports, from sports organized locally as well as those organized nationally. Highly organized competitive sports such as Peewee Football and Little League Baseball are too often played to adult standards, which are developmentally inappropriate for children and can be both physically and psychologically harmful. Furthermore, because they eliminate many children from organized sports before they are ready to compete, they are actually counterproductive for developing either future players or fans. Finally, because they emphasize competition and winning, they unfortunately provide occasions for some parents and coaches to place their own fantasies and needs ahead of children’s welfare.

Sweet as Sugar, Deadly as Poison by Mike Mihalov

In today’s society, we Americans live in the golden age of food. Thousands of different options sit on the shelves of supermarkets, each waiting to be bought and consumed. However, consumers are not aware that these delicious daily foods have been laced with a poison. This poison may be appealing to our taste buds, but with each satisfying bite, our health is slowly being exterminated, resulting in harmful health issues.

Nearly every American has eaten food that contains high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS). HFCS, a sweetener, began its crusade into our diets in the 1970’s. According to Vanessa Barrington, a reporter at alternet.com, “Americans consume anywhere from 45 to 60 pounds of [high-fructose corn syrup] a year.” It was thought to be the newer, better sugar, since it is cheaper for companies to use and makes food last longer. Scientists have been discovering that this once revolutionary sugar is incredibly harmful. Thanks to their surprising results, it can be proven that High-Fructose Corn Syrup is a dangerous additive and should be removed from our food products. It has a devastating effect on our bodies, causing nonalcoholic fatty-liver disease, obesity, and diabetes. If consumers make simple changes, they can not only improve their health, but minimize the damages of this toxic sweet.

Educational Insensitivity

By Diane Ravitch Published: June 05, 2002

An enterprising parent of a high school senior recently discovered that the literary texts on the New York Regents examinations had been expurgated. Excerpts from the writings of many prominent authors were doctored, without their knowledge or permission, to delete references to religion, profanity, sex, alcohol or other potentially troublesome topics.

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The story was a huge embarrassment to the New York State Education Department, which prepares the examinations, and yesterday Richard P. Mills, the state education commissioner, ordered the practice stopped. From now on, all literary passages used on state tests will be unchanged except for length.

Mr. Mills is to be commended for this new policy. But the dimensions of this absurd practice reach far beyond the borders of New York, and there are many culprits. Censorship of tests and textbooks is not merely widespread: across the nation, it has become institutionalized.

Diane Ravitch’s Educational Insensitivity Essay Paper

Diane Ravitch’s Educational Insensitivity Essay Paper

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